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I am not saying here that if you get involved in pornography you are going to become a murderer. I am also not saying that you won't!  Because the slippery slope of pornography at the very end of the slide, the devil has in mind murder. He wants you to either become so discouraged, hopeless, helpless, and in despair believing there is no way out, and have you to seek relief through murdering yourself through suicide.  Or they get you so desensitized from so much of it that you are at the jumping off point of where you want to do what you have been programming yourself to do by all of the pornographic involvements and you rape or start hiring prostitutes, and having affairs. If you rape or hurt others, then he prompts you to destroy the evidence, just like King David. 

I feel to post the entire chapter here, so that you can understand how pornography has in fact influenced others to such a degree. Remember King David, he went from being one of the greatest warrior, prophet King's in all Israelite history and became a murder in just months after being involved viewing nudity or pornography. He had killed a lion, killed a bear, killed Goliath, and then he got involved in pornography by looking at Bathsheba naked as she bathed.  He then sent for her, laid with her, he impregnated her, and you know the rest of the story, he killed her husband to hide the evidence.  David became an adulterous murderer in a matter of months. 

The following information is somewhat graphic but definitely makes enough teaching points I believe it is worth the time and study. Nothing short of the full truth ever makes us free or sets us free. Understanding Satan's end goal and desires for us, to have us die in our sins or murder someone else assuring our loss of exaltation such as David, is the desired end state of the devil for us.  We need to understand this as one involved in pornography, and have this knowledge be an important part of our motivations to abstain from it.

Protocols of Adversarial Resistance – Chapter Three

Evil Designs – The Slippery Slope from Pornography to Murder of Yourself or Others

 We have power granted by grace through Jesus Christ’s Atonement to alter our lives permanently in every way. We need to recognize the adversary's snares and move forward in faith and cast him out; then no habit or sin can hold us bound, no matter how many times we have previously given up in frustration or despair. The joy such changes can bring are particularly sweet to those who have long struggled with the darkness of serious sin, especially sin that opens us up to adversarial attachments and is defined as addictive in nature.

 When it comes to drugs, violence, sexual deviance, pornography, and the like, the world has little in the way of cures to offer. Rehabilitation and support programs abound, but their ratio of radically and positively changed lives remains small. In contrast, an understanding of the effects and influences of evil spirits in these situations, and how they can be resisted and cast out through the protocols of adversarial resistance taught here, and with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, can bring about desired permanent changes, repentance, thus creating a new life. No addiction—meaning captivation, being snared, being trapped, being seduced, being enticed, being vexed—is too strong or too deep for the truth to set you free and to enjoy the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

 Let's take a close look at serious sin and how these principles can open a door for escape where none seemed possible. A discussion of sexual sin reveals the way all addictive sin takes hold of those individuals who yield to temptation.

 Sexual Sin as a Type for All Satanic Induced, Enticed Sin

 The sacred power of procreation has been freely given to all here on the earth. As with other gifts from God, its use is governed by our agency. God allows us to decide what we will do with this sacred power and with our bodies. However, because this power is good, and because it is used to provide physical bodies for God’s spirit children, the Lord has placed strict laws upon its use. The misuse of our procreative power is a sin in the eyes of God, second only to that of murder. (See Book of Mormon | Alma 39:5.)

 It is also one of the most grievous sins to be borne and one of the most difficult to repent of. Adultery, fornication, and other sexual sins are devastating to the individual, to his or her family, and to all parties involved. Satan knows that if he can entice us into inappropriate sexual behavior, he can break down our natural inhibitions to all kinds of sin. In order to get men and women into such a condition that they would misuse the powers of procreation and tamper with the fountain of life. Satan wages an especially sophisticated campaign of deception. Via radio, TV, movies, magazines, books and every other form of media, he sends a subtle but powerful message that because sexual feelings and drives are natural, they can be expressed between consenting individuals without commitment or consequence.  Through a never-ending bombardment of "belief system scripting" messages in the media, he works diligently to break down the marriage covenant, to nullify the sacredness of the home, and to undermine the strength of the family.      Satan, of course, knows that accepted thoughts amplified in our imagination generate emotions, and emotions are the motivation for action. The more he can keep our minds filled with unrighteous imaginary thoughts about sex, the more imaginary amplification of our emotions, and the stronger our inappropriate arousal. If we give way to acting out on those imaginations, it then gives devils their affect with us. His control of us increases as we accept these thoughts as our own and fantasize them. These unworthy imaginings are then further compounded by the influence of evil spirits attaching to us and urging us to act in accordance with our new deviant thinking. Again, they know that thoughts generate emotions and our emotions are the motivations to action. At every opportunity they are bombarding us with some intrusive fiery dart of curious, lustful, sensual stimulus.                                                                                                                                                                                        

Once an improper act takes place, the completed sin opens the door to adversarial entity attachment. We are then open to additional possession by entities. Satan has more power in us, which he uses to bind us securely to our sexual sins by sending additional spirits to inspire feelings of frustration, doubt about ourselves, feelings of not being good enough, anger, despair, hopelessness, degradation, worthlessness, and so forth. These spirits try to magnify the guilt, shame, regret, and remorse that we already feel. They whisper to us that we can’t repent, that there is no hope for us now. They say that no one seems to have the answer, so how can we hope to change?  There is no way to change, they tell us this is just the way I am.                                                                                                                          

 These degrading spirits try to develop within us a feeling of despair, a feeling that we are lost, and a hopeless feeling that we can never overcome these things. To the extent that we believe and accept these evil thoughts and feelings, we become bound down, one thought upon another, one spirit upon another, with what the scriptures call "the chains of hell."  This downward spiral will continue unabated until we obtain the knowledge, and thus the power, to free ourselves from eventual destruction. 

 In a letter published in a “Dear Abby” column years ago, an imprisoned child molester's words indicate how hopeless it feels for one who hasn't found this information that could set him free. 

 He states:  ‘I am now serving a 20-year sentence in a Texas prison for a crime I committed against a 7year-old boy in Amarillo, where I was on parole after having served time in Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona for sex crimes committed on little boys from 2 years old up to 12.

 I can't count the number of little boys I have violated. I know I am sick and have begged to be locked up and put away so I couldn't repeat this despicable behavior. I have had treatment, and I thought I was cured, but the first chance I got, I did the same thing over again... I hate myself the way I am. I am hopeful I will one day be able to get the kind of help I need so I will be normal and free of this terrible curse.’

 This man is one of many who wants help, who needs help, but doesn't know where to go to get help. Yes, I am proposing that with Spiritual Mind Management books information to manage our minds in normal ranges and ‘The Emotional Tools and Skills of Positive Mind Management to manage our minds in imagination amplified ranges, and with ‘The Protocols of Adversarial Resistance’ this man would have the knowledge and truths to use his personal power of his own agency to repent and be set FREE. In overcoming such problems, not only does he need to know how the entity attachments keep driving him into the same deviant behaviors, he also needs to pray, to call upon God, and rely in faith upon his Lord and Redeemer receiving additional strength and enlightenment. Following the correct principles set forth here, and in the scriptures, he can be freed from these thoughts and feelings. He does not have to continue to live with and accept the presence of evil spirits with their unrighteous desires they are using to bind him to this behavior.  The Truth will Set him FREE!                                                      

 Pornography is  One of Satan's Most Devastating Tools 

 As with all sin, Satan uses sexual sin to introduce further deviance and to lead us on to more serious related sins. It is becoming more and more evident that one of the deadliest influences of evil spirits, one which leads many to their downfall, is pornography.  I personally believe it is a starting source to suicide with youth.

 Pornography begins on a level that does not appear to be particularly harmful. However, a path is entered where more exciting material is constantly needed to attain the same mental and emotional high, as well as physical levels of arousal, until inhibitions are dropped, and repulsive acts are committed. Consider the patterns that are evident in the following excerpts from the personal accounts of two well-known serial murderers.                                                                                                          

 A letter from a  convicted child  molester/murderer to his bishop describes clearly the step-by-step   path to              destruction initiated by pornography:   

 “During my trial, Dr. Victor Cline testified about the adverse effects of pornography. As I listened to his explanations, I could discern how my own life corresponded to these consequences. He stated that as people became addicted to it, their desires escalate, their normal feelings become desensitized, and they tend to act out what they have seen. So, it was with me. I am a homosexual pedophile convicted of murder and pornography was a determining factor in my downfall.

 “Such materials would temporarily satisfy my cravings, but soon I would need pictures that were more explicit and revealing. Some of the material I received was shocking and disgusting at first, but it shortly became commonplace and acceptable...

 “As I continued to digress further into my perverted behavior, more stimulation was necessary to maintain the same level of excitement. Finding and procuring sexually arousing materials became an obsession. For me, seeing pornography was like lighting a fuse on a stick of dynamite; I became stimulated and had to gratify my urges or explode...   “All boys became mere sexual objects, their only purpose being to heighten and intensify my sensual feelings. My conscience was desensitized, and my sexual appetite entirely controlled my actions. The day came when I invited a small neighborhood boy into my apartment, molested him, and then killed him in fear of being caught. Over the next few years “I kidnapped, sexually abused, and murdered four other boys.

“Pornography wasn't the only negative influence in my life, but its effect on me was devastating. I lost all sense of decency and respect for humanity and life, and I would do anything or take any risk to fulfill my deviant desires. If pornographic material would have been unavailable to me in my early stages, it is most probable that my sexual activities would not have escalated to the degree they did.”

 Note that when in the grip of these evil spirits promoting pornographic involvements, this man describes feelings of being totally out of control: “I had to gratify my urges or explode.”  “My sexual appetite entirely controlled my actions.”  Yet, when not under the influence of these dark spirits, his own spirit would surface, and he would recognize that what he was doing was wrong. This split in character is typical of people who have spirits influencing them strongly toward pornography. One side of them (the real them) hates what they’re doing and deplores the evil deeds, the evil desires, and the abuse of another human being. Yet, when the other side of them (the demonic spirits) takes control, they go ahead and perform repulsive acts when the opportunity arises, in spite of their guilt. Although they recognize the war that is going on within them, these people are experiencing an eternal battle that is real, that they have not been taught yet how to win.


Ted Bundy's Last Interview                        

 Now let's look at the story of Ted Bundy who was executed for the murder of a number of women and girls. (The highest estimate I’ve heard is 128.)  Before his execution he requested one last interview to let people know what had gone wrong in his life. Given to Dr. James Dobson of the Focus on the Family organization. It is a sad tale of a bright and capable young man being slowly and carefully led down the path of destruction. Dr. Dobson (DD); Ted Bundy (TB).   

 DD: Ted, how did it happen?  Take me back. What are the antecedents of the behavior that we have seen that caused so much grief, so much sorrow, so much pain for so many people?  Where did it start?  How did this moment come about? 

 TB: That's the question of the hour, and one that not only people much more intelligent than I have been working on for years, but one that I have been working on for years, trying to understand. Is there enough time to explain it all?  I don't know. I think I understand it though; understand what happened to me, to the extent that I could see how certain feelings and ideas developed in me to the point where I began to act out on them, certain very violent and very destructive feelings.    

DD: Let's go back, then, to those roots. First of all you, as I understand it, were raised in what you considered to have been a healthy home. You were not physically abused. You were not sexually abused. You were not emotionally abused.    

TB: No way. That is part of the tragedy of this whole situation, is because I grew up in a wonderful home with two dedicated, loving parents, one of five brothers and sisters. A home where we as children [were] the focus of my parents' lives, where we regularly attended church. True, Christian parents who did not drink, did not smoke. There was no gambling; there was no physical abuse or fighting in the home. I am not saying this was "Leave it to Beaver."     

DD: They weren't a perfect home?    

TB: No, I don't know that such a home exists. But it was a fine, solid Christian home, and I hope no one will try to take the easy way out and to try to blame, or otherwise accuse my family, of contributing to this. Because I know, and I am trying to tell you, as honestly as I know how, what happened, and I think this is the message that I want to get across. That as a young boy, and I mean a boy of 12 or 13, certainly, that I encountered outside the home, again in the local grocery store, the local drug store, the soft-core pornography, what people call soft-core. But as I think I explained to you last night, Dr. Dobson, in an anecdote, that as young boys we do explore the back roads and sideways and byways of our neighborhood, and often-time people would dump the garbage, and whatever they are cleaning out of their house, and from time to time we would come across pornographic books of a harder nature; more graphic, more explicit [in] nature than we would encounter at, say, the local grocery store...

  DD: Those that involved violence then?    

TB Yes. This is something I think that I want to emphasize is the most damaging kind of pornography. And again, I am talking from personal experience, had real personal experience. The most damaging kinds of pornography are those that involve violence and sexual violence, because the weighting of those two forces, as I know only too well, brings about behavior that is just too terrible to describe.     DD: Now, walk me through that. What was going on in your mind at the time?   

 TB: Before we go any further, I think it is important to me, and the people to believe what I am saying, to tell you that I am not blaming pornography. I am not saying that it caused me to go out and do certain things. And I take full responsibility for whatever I have done and all the things that I have done. That is not the question here. The question and the issue is how this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior.   

DD: It fueled your fantasies, didn't it?    

TB: In the beginning, it fuels this kind of thought process. Then at a certain time, it is instrumental in what I would say crystallizing; making into something which is almost like a separate entity inside. And at that point you are at the verge, or I was at the verge of acting out on these kinds of things. (Note: What could this "crystallizing", "separate entity inside," represent?)

    DD: Now, I really want to understand that. You had gone about as far as you could go in your own fantasy life with printed materials, and video or film photos and what have you, and then there was the urge to take that little step (or big step) over to a physical event?     

TB: It happens, it happened, in stages, gradually. It doesn't necessarily, not to me, at least, happen overnight. My experience with, say, pornography generally, but [specifically] with pornography that deals on a violent level with sexuality, is that once you become addicted to it, and I look at this as kind of an addiction like other kinds of addiction, I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic...     

DD: More aggressive? 

 TB  ...kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder, harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement. Until you reach the point where the pornography only goes so far. You reach that jumping-off point where you begin to wonder {Notice the "line-upon-line" thought degeneration} if maybe actually doing it will give you that which is beyond just reading about it or looking at it. (Do we see Ted going down the path—being led "carefully," as it were?)     DD: How long did you stay at that point before you actually assaulted someone?    

TB: I would say a couple of years. And what I was dealing with there was very strong inhibitions against criminal behavior, or violent behavior, that had been conditioned into me, bred into me, in my environment, in my neighborhood, in my church, in my school; things which said "no," this is wrong. I mean, even to think of it is wrong, but certainly to do it is wrong, and I am on that edge; and you might say the last vestiges of restraints, the barriers to actually doing something, were being tested constantly (Is this a good definition of temptations?) and assailed through the kind of fantasy life that was fueled largely by pornography.

    DD: Do you remember what pushed you over that edge?  Do you remember the decision to go for it?  Do you remember when you decided to throw caution to the wind?    

TB: Again, when you say pushed, I know what you are saying. I don't want to refer again that I was a helpless kind of a victim.    

DD: I understand.    

TB: And yet, we are talking about an influence that is the influence of violent types of media and violent pornography, which had an indispensable link in the chain of behavior, of the chain of events, (interesting that he uses the word chains) that led to the behavior—to the assaults, to the murders, and what have you. It is a very difficult thing to describe. The sensation of reaching that point where I knew, it's like, say, "something snapped" that I knew that I couldn't control anymore; that these barriers that I had learned as a child had been instilled in me were not enough to hold me back with respect to seeking out and harming somebody.    

DD: Would it be accurate to call that a frenzy, a sexual frenzy?    

TB: Well, yes, that's one way to describe it, a compulsion, a building up of this destructive energy. Again, another fact here that I haven't mentioned is the use of alcohol, (Note: Did alcohol finally remove his own spirit's ability to control the evil spirits which he already had?  Was it the last straw, so to speak?) but I think what alcohol did, in conjunction with, say, my exposure to pornography, was that alcohol reduces my inhibitions at the same time. The fantasy life that was fueled by pornography eroded them further.

    DD: In the early days you were nearly always about half drunk when you did these things. Was that right?    

TB: Yes.    

DD: If I can understand it now, there is this battle going on within. There are the conventions that you have been taught. There is the right and wrong that you learned as a child. There is the unbridled passion, fueled by your plunge into hard core violent pornography and those things are at war with each other. (Is this the good versus evil in us?)    

TB: Yes.    

DD: And then, with the alcohol diminishing the inhibitions, you let go.    

TB: Well, yes. And you can summarize it that way and that is accurate, certainly. And it just occurred to me that some people would say that well, I've seen that stuff and it doesn't do anything to me, and I can understand that. Virtually everyone can be exposed to so-called pornography, and while they are aroused to it in one way or another, and not do anything wrong.    

DD: Now, addictions are like that. They affect some people more than they affect others. But there is a percentage of people affected by hard-core pornography in a very violent way, and you are obviously one of them.

TB: That was a major component, and I don't know why I was vulnerable to it. All I know is that it had an impact on me that was just so central to the development of the violent behavior that I engaged in.    DD: Ted, after you committed your first murder, what was the emotional effect on you?  What happened in the days after that?    

TB: Again, please understand that even all these years later it is very difficult to talk about it, and re-living it through talking about it is difficult, to say the least. But I want you to understand what happened. It was like coming out of some kind of horrible trance or dream. I can only liken it to, I don't want to over-dramatize it, but to have been possessed by something so awful and so alien, (Is this not the truth as spoken out of the abundance of the heart?) and then the next morning wake up from it, remember what happened, and realize that basically in the eyes of the law, certainly in the eyes of God, you are responsible. To wake up in the morning and realize what I had done, and with a clear mind, in all my essential moral and ethical feelings intact at that moment, absolutely horrified that I was capable of doing something like that.     

DD: You really hadn't known that before?   

TB: There is just absolutely no way to describe first the brutal urge to do that kind of thing and then what happens is, once it has been more or less satisfied and recedes, you might say, or spent, [in the] sense that energy level recedes and basically, I became myself again. (If he wasn't himself—what was he? Or who was he?)  I want people to understand this too, and I am not saying this prudishly because it is important that people understand this. That basically, I was a normal person. I wasn't some guy hanging out in bars, or a bum. I wasn't a pervert, in the sense that people look at somebody, and say "I know there is something wrong with him, and you can tell."  I was essentially a normal person. I had good friends. I led a normal life, except for this one small, but very potent, and very destructive segment of it, that I kept very secret, very close to myself, and didn't let anybody know about it. And part of the shock and horror from my dear friends and family years ago, when I was first arrested, was that there was just no clue. They looked at me and they looked at the all-American boy. I mean, I wasn't perfect, but I was okay—I was. The basic humanity, the basic spirit that God gave me was intact, but unfortunately, became overwhelmed at times, (What is he saying here?) and people need to recognize that. Those of us who are, who have been so much influenced by violence in the media, in particular pornographic violence, are not some kind of inherent monsters. We are your sons, and we are your husbands, and we grew up in regular families. And pornography can reach out and snatch a kid out of any house today. It snatched me out of my home 20, 30 years ago. And as diligent as my parents were, and they were diligent, and protecting their children as good a Christian home as we had, and we had a wonderful Christian home, there is no protection against the kind of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates ...

    DD: You feel this really deeply, don't you?  Ted, outside these walls right now there are several hundred reporters that wanted to talk to you. And you asked me to come here from California because you had something you wanted to say. This hour that we have together is not just an interview with a man that is scheduled to die tomorrow morning. I am here, and you are here, because of this message that you are talking about right

here. You really feel that hard-core pornography, and the doorway to it, softcore pornography, is doing untold damage to other people in causing other women to be abused and killed the way you did others? 

    TB: Yes. I am no social scientist, and I haven't done a survey. I don't pretend that I know what John Q. Citizen thinks about this, but I have lived in prison for a long time now, and I have met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me, and without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography. Without question, without exception, deeply influenced, and consumed by addiction to pornography. There is no question about it. The FBI's own study on serial homicide shows that the most common interest among serial killers is pornography...

 What scares me, and let's come into the present now, because what I am talking about happened 20, 30 years ago, that is, in my formative stages. And what scares and appalls me, Dr. Dobson, is what I see, what is on cable TV. Some of the movies, I mean, some of the violence in the movies that come into the homes today, with stuff that they wouldn't show in X-rated adult theaters 30 years ago. This stuff...

    DD: The slasher movies, which you are talking about?    

TB: That stuff, I am telling you, from personal experience, the most that is graphic violence on screen, particularly as it gets into the home to children who may be unattended or unaware, that they may be a Ted Bundy; [with] that vulnerability; the predisposition to be influenced by that kind of behavior, by that kind of a movie, that kind of violence. There are kids sitting out there, switching the TV dial around, and come upon these movies, late at night, or I don't know when they are on, but they are on, and any kid can watch them. It's scary, when I think what would have happened to me, if I had seen, I am scary enough. I mean, I just ran into stuff outside the home, but to know that children are watching that kind of thing today, or can pick up their phone and dial away for it or send away for it...

    DD: Can you help me understand this desensitization process that took place?  What was going on in your mind?     TB: By desensitization, I describe it in specific terms, is that each time I harm someone, each time I would kill someone, there would be an enormous amount, especially at first, an enormous amount of horror, guilt, remorse afterwards. But then that impulse to do it again would come back even stronger. (Did he take on more spirits each time?)  Now, believe me, I didn't...the unique thing about how this worked, Dr. Dobson, is that I still felt in my regular life the full range of guilt and remorse about other things, regret and...    

DD: But you had this compartmentalized?   

 TB: Compartmentalized very well. Focused very sharply, focused [into an] area where it was like a black hole. It was like a crack and everything that fell into the crack just disappeared. Does that make sense?    

DD: Do you deserve the punishment the state is inflicting upon you?    

TB: That's a very good question. And I'll answer it very honestly. I don't want to die. I am not going to kid you. I'll kid you not. I deserve certainly the most extreme punishment society has. And I deserve, I think society deserves, to be protected from me and from others like me, that is for sure. I think what hope will come from our discussion is that I think that society deserves to be protected from itself, because as we have been talking, there are forces at loose in this country, particularly again, this kind of violent pornography, where on the one hand, well meaning, decent people will condemn behavior of a Ted Bundy, while they are walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to be Ted Bundies. That is the irony. We are talking here, not just about more, what I am talking about is going beyond retribution, which is what people want with me. Going beyond retribution and punishment, because there is no way in the world that killing me is going to restore those beautiful children to their parents, and correct and soothe the pain. But I'll tell you, there are lots of other kids playing in the streets around this country, they who are going to be dead tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and next month, because other young people are reading the kinds of things and seeing the kinds of things, that are available in the media today.


 Is Satan real?  Ted apparently never did consciously give Satan the credit for those overwhelming, “crystalizing” urges that caused his personal spirit’s control to finally “snap.”  But can there be any doubt in our minds that Satan was the source of these destructive urges?  Yet, most people don’t acknowledge the adversary as the source of such problems. Even though Ted Bundy grew up in a “good Christian home,” he obviously wasn’t fully equipped to understand what was happening to him, how to reject the injected fiery darts of temptations and how to combat inappropriate arousals. He should have been taught to have faith in Jesus Christ and how to use his holy name to additionally control those spirits, those urges; had he understood what he was dealing with from the start, his life and many other lives would be different today. Unfortunately, far too few of us receive the instruction in this area that is needed because the Christian world in general is ignorant of the correct principles governing power over Satan. Learning to manage our minds correctly is a big deal.


Using Faith to Overcome Captivating Sin                

How can someone who has progressed so far down an evil path begin to place faith in Jesus Christ?  How can someone out of control in any sin start the process of change?  For some, the catalyst may have to be the intervention of a friend or loved one. But whether a serious sinner seeks change on his or her own or whether a concerned party intervenes, the same basic process takes place.    There first needs to be a desire to change. They might need to be asked questions that would help them identify what their own spirit feels. The voice or spirit that deplores what they are doing, that dislikes the wicked involvements they have had. The spirit that is crying out to be free from these involvements is their true spirit, and such feelings indicate that they have a desire to change-no matter how weak or small that voice is. If they were totally evil, that is, if their own spirit was totally evil, there would not be any part of them that would deplore their repulsive behavior. They would be in such a state that they of themselves would do these acts independently, without being possessed or influenced by any other evil spirits. On such persons the devil lays claim and says that "he doth seal them his;" indeed, the people who get into that state are his.   

However, people who have not yet reached that state typically recognize that they have done wrong, that they have committed sin, and they want to change. They just do not understand how to get control of the situation. When evil or unclean spirits move in upon them, they willingly perform whatever debased acts they are prompted to do; they may even seem to find those acts pleasurable or desirable at the time. But, when an evil act is finished, when they withdraw from the situation, their true spirit comes to the forefront and they are overcome with guilt, resentment, remorse, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, despair, and so forth. Once such people recognize that the good surfacing in them is the real person and once they feel and appreciate the good in them that deplores the awful actions, they can begin learning how to discern and obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit or the good spirit. They will be able to cast out other spirits or feelings, feeling by feeling, spirit by spirit. One after another, the chains of hell must be broken.   We sometimes struggle for years with sins which have become habits. Follow the sometimes-subtle influence of the adversary in the life of the individual in this story. Your sins (habits) may be different but see if the ultimate conclusion might not be the same.


The Time to Overcome Pornography Is Now

Now consider the awful downward spiral of Bundy and Bishop and join me in pondering a few questions about what we’ve discussed thus far. It may help to read the confessions of people like Ted Bundy, and to grasp the solution to their problems fairly clearly, but we need to look at our own lives or those of people we know who have problems with pornography and apply the same lessons. 

 How could Ted Bundy’s life have been different, if he could have fully understood Satan’s deceits, and the compounding influences of evil spirits?  But more importantly how would all of the lives of his victims have been different?

 What if someone had taken the time to teach him how to control the evil spirits that tormented him; to overcome his initial deviant urges and ongoing Satanic attacks with such powerful influences? What if these destructive behaviors could have been stopped and turned around at an early stage?

 Some professionals call obsession with pornography a disease. I find that the ones who come in to do therapy with me who want to claim it is a disease, are usually the ones who are looking for excuses for failure in advance to keep doing it.

"It’s not my fault. What do you want me to do about it?  I have this disease."   I teach them that I do not believe in addiction, at least in pornographic addiction. I ask them some questions. "Do you have to sit and look at pornography in Sacrament Meeting? You have your phone in one hand looking at pornography and you are taking the sacrament with your other hand? You just can’t help yourself; you just have to do it?"   The answer is always, "Well no, of course I wouldn’t do that."   "Well then, do you have to do it at work or at school, on your breaks or lunch hours?"

 "No, of course not. I would get suspended or fired if I were caught doing those things at work."   "Well then, do you have to do it at night around your family while at the dinner table or during Family Home Evening?  You just can’t control yourself. You are this out-of-control addict and you have this disease."   "No, that’s silly. I’d never do that either."   

Then I explain to them that this is not an out of control addiction or disease kind of problem. It is a motivational problem. Why are you not as motivated to stay in control the rest of the day as much as you are in those times?  Of course, the answer is that they don’t feel a sense of fear or danger of being caught in those specific times, because there would be huge consequences. Afterwards, I take them through a number of Scriptures proving that they are always in the Lord’s presence; not a hair of their head falls to the ground that our Father in Heaven doesn’t know of it. He knows all things at all times. He knows everything perfectly. There is never a time that He is not fully aware of us. It is not about him becoming more aware of us; it is about us being more aware of his awareness of us. Father in Heaven can tell you what you had for breakfast seven years ago on any day. We are never alone or out of His sight and knowledge of our thoughts and actions.   They need to fear God and His future justice upon them should they not repent and then experience the consequences of their choices and actions. Then if fear is a motivator to them, they need to know how real these consequences are and that in the end if they do not fully clear up these things there will be "weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth" as part of their repentance. So, I will go through a number of motivational reasons to give this up as well. We will review them again when we get to the Protocols of Adversarial Resistance.    

Perhaps we could say more accurately that it is a dis-ease, a disharmony in our spirit’s mind or uneasiness in our intelligence, being in the imagination of the mind as an unrighteousness and unrepentant sin. Above all, pornography totally opens up a person's mind and body to possession by unclean spirits who want to participate in perverted acts and evil spirits who seek the person's final destruction. Like the criminals quoted above, people who have traveled far down the road in these things describe the feelings as urges that overcome them and control them: as influences that overpower them. They recognize the urges as something foreign to them, or even as coming from the pornography itself. Even though they accept the thoughts and feelings planted in them and act them out, there is the strong possibility that, had they been taught the source of such feelings and urges, they could have gained power to take control of their lives and have avoided the terrible consequences of total sin.   

Most of us will admit that a murderer or serial killer could be possessed by evil spirits. Yet how did he or she descend to such a state?  When did evil spirits take control of their life?  And what actions on their part first allowed entities access to their mind and heart?  Perhaps their path downward is not much different than the one many of us are experiencing right now, except that the murderer has already traveled to the end of the path. Perhaps they have only arrived there ahead of those of us who are still hiding our sins, who are unwilling to repent, and leave behind a path that leads solely to the destruction of ourselves and others.   

Other people and therapies are worthwhile in these matters only to the extent that they help you overcome deceptions and bring you to the faith in Christ required to gain control over the adversary. Now is the time to stop deceiving yourself and to counsel with your spiritual advisor, someone who understands these principles and has the faith to assist you to bring about righteousness.  

Was Bundy’s life a total waste?  Maybe not. There have been many people who, upon hearing or reading this interview, have decided to change. He is having a positive effect on many, because his story helps them recognize that they are on the same road he traveled. One such young man heard the Bundy interview and wrote a compelling letter, which was read on K-Talk radio in Salt Lake City, Utah:   "It was chilling to me to read Ted Bundy’s involvement in pornography at a very young age, and how it had progressed step by step, because I see a parallel with my own life. If you knew me, you would think I was a normal person, even an exceptionally good and bright person. I have two wonderful parents who taught me right from wrong; always set a good example for me. I had brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces, all [whom I] loved. I had a good job; enjoyed all kinds of summer and winter sports, but I am what I call a porno-holic. And I hate myself for it and the things I have done. I know the total blame has to be my own, but pornography more than helped get me to where I am today and has polluted my mind with filth that I will take with me to the grave.   

"...People don’t realize, speaking for myself, how much I want to stop. All I hear from others is their hate for me, and from the experts that there is no help for me. Just lock me away and throw away the key. I am a normal kid. I was never abused. I was happy. I started experimenting with masturbation when I was about 12, and found that looking at Playboy magazines was very exciting. Soon, when I was older, I had the courage to purchase my own magazines. The next big step I made was when I went to my first X-rated movie. Going from photos to moving pictures was like going to a hardline drug. Although I have never used drugs, not even marijuana, or drank, for that matter, I can imagine what it must be like. I can understand what it must be like for alcoholics, that they have AA; I have nothing.    "I have had opportunities to marry, and I long for a normal relationship with a mature female. But not only am I afraid of ruining somebody else’s life, but after all these years...I find myself avoiding serious relationships and dating. It is much easier to go to a magazine. The problem is, it is never enough. Pornography would arouse me physically, but I had no outlet. I then started exposing myself in public to girls of all ages. It satisfied a sexual need I had. Even though I hated myself for it, I couldn’t stop. Just like Bundy, when the urge comes, it’s like an uncontrollable power takes me over, and all reason and good intention are driven away, and locked behind some great door.  

"When I started fondling my nieces, I finally went to get help from a therapist who told me that they would have to report it to the police, and I agreed...Since I came forth voluntarily, I was put on probation, and required to pay a fine and do some community service. Only my family knows. But I know that I will never be the same in their eyes. It was so wonderful, finally getting it all out in the open, and starting over again, but it didn’t last. Since that time, I have continued to expose myself in public, to girls both old and young. If I tell or go for help, I will go to Jail. I will break my parents’ hearts, and hurt the people I love again, and so I keep trying to stop on my own... I have been tempted to get my hands on the real hard types of pornography, the kind that is illegal. But I have never done so, knowing inside that I would just be taking one more step, opening another Pandora’s box. After reading Ted Bundy’s words, I would be terrified to do so. And I am more committed than ever to staying away from pornography of any type.   

"You wanted to know what we could possibly learn from someone like Bundy. Well, then, learn from me. I know. I know only too well. If I am a small minority, the way they say, then why is pornography such a big business?  And who really knows how many are raped each year?  Or how many children abused?  Or how many marriages are broken up, reported and unreported, because of the influence of pornography?  My heart aches for the little ones that I have offended. I am truly sorry for those I have hurt...   

"Please help, people understand my words. It saddens me to hear them defend these things. They are mistaken. I am glad I will be judged by God and not men, because if I come forward, all I will receive is hate, not justice. Hate, not help. Until this changes somehow, others like myself will be afraid to come forward, and afraid if they don’t. For now, I will keep trying to stop on my own."  (AFRAID AND SO ALONE--From the Nels Crenshaw show, K-TALK Radio)   We are proposing that we have the answers that this young man needed and may still need. We are teaching them here in this book.  

As individuals, we can do much to help this situation. We can be our brother’s keeper; we can be a shoulder to cry on, a friend to pray with, and a teacher of truth. When we are involved with people who have become so possessed as to be losing control in these areas, both the afflicted person and we should understand that ultimately the real problem is with Satan, not with the individual. We must be able to separate the sins from the sinner. To do our Christian duty, we must love the sinner while hating the sin. We can hate the actions but must remember that these are our brothers and sisters. They originally chose Jesus Christ’s implementation of the plan. That’s why they’re here. Christ died for them as well as for us. He can pull them through these things.  

What is the difference in any addiction?  A drug or alcohol addict who has just been through treatment has had all of the drugs and alcohol removed from their bodies physical systems. At that point, can it be attributed to the elements themselves, or is it only in the minds and hearts of the individual?  What is the difference at the point of being chemically free, between a drug addict and a gambling addict and a pornography addict?  What is it that prompts, urges, and entices until one gives up his agency of conscience and proper choice and allows control of himself by these influences?  I submit that the drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling etc. are not the root of the problem, as society views it, but are the outward manifestations of the inner turmoil caused by thoughts and actions which are compounded by the constant influence of evil spirits. Do we see the desensitization, crystallization, and compartmentalization of each of these addictive processes as being the same path downward, just with a different entry of accepted enticement allowing the attachments?   

There are two parts to what we are teaching here in freeing individuals from Satanic influences.  The first one being promoted the most here is a system of resisting the devil and having them flee from us. These processes are what is being called ‘Protocols of Adversarial Resistance’, described in detail in the next chapter. I believe we are to utilize the agency we have already been given first, deciding to repent and make new choices that are right, true, and correct for us. This is the way the Lord has taught me how to assist clients without crossing the line into priest craft. Priest craft would be to give priesthood blessings, using Temple kinds of things, and the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to cast out devils for others, and charging them sessions fees while doing it. In other words, I’d be charging money to eradicate evil spirit entities from their lives and setting myself up as a necessary source in their life creating dependencies. I would be setting myself up as a Light instead of illuminating correct principles, doctrine, and knowledge that is power in these things that an individual can learn to do for themselves.  I am simply acting as facilitator or teacher of such knowledge. There are those who go around and cast out evil spirits and get paid for doing so. This is where some so-called energy work crosses the line, because people become dependent upon another person for their mental, spiritual, and physical well-being or blessings. Everything when done correctly in the gospel is to bring a person to independence, self-reliance, and bring them to Christ for additional blessings.

 The second part is to assist others to develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and begin to cast out these urges, cravings, and desires from themselves, through faith in the power and use of His holy name. I believe that there is a literalness in the scripture which says that there is “no other name under heaven whereby men can be saved,” or whereby you can be brought out of these possessions if you will receive it. Rely on Him who is mighty to save. Repent of your wrong doings; cleanse them from your minds and bodies; fill your souls with the light and truth of Jesus Christ, and through faith you will overcome all things. He is the way, the truth and the light, of how to truly be free of carnal, sensual and devilish captivation's. Gain control of your life as you gain control of the urges given you by Satan. Follow the example of our Lord and tell him to “Get thee hence, Satan.”  Other solutions given to these attachment problems may be helpful, but any solution which does not involve sufficiently resisting the devil and having faith in the Lord, and the use of His name in controlling the adversities of one's life, will bring but temporary or dependent results. To be truly free and independent of the influences of this world, is to be dependent on the One who overcame all things and made it possible for us to do the same.

 We sometimes struggle for years with sins which have become habits. Follow, if you can, the subtle influence of the adversary in the life of the individual in this story. Your sins (habits) may be different but see if the ultimate conclusion might not be the same.

 ‘In my youth, it seemed as though devils wished to destroy me, and on two occasions take my life. These were not to be the end of their taunting’s.

 As I became a young man, I fell into one of youth's follies, only to have Satan turn it into the most repulsive and shameful habit one could have. It seems from one night of awakening, to the many years that followed, I would be enslaved to this habit. A habit which would grow into another and later to destroy my marriage, my business, and my salvation. For many years, I tried to control this habit. I often confessed to the proper church authorities. But later, after time, I would give in again. To help myself understand the basis for my struggle and try to look inward to find an escape, I have chosen to write this record. My hopes are, for anyone who reads this, that they will understand, and not condemn me for the things I have done. 

 My bedroom was shared by two of my brothers. I remember many nights when I was scared and couldn't sleep. I would try to sleep with my older brother, but he would get upset with me, and wouldn't let me. I would lay in my bed and see images in the room. I remember having a hard time going into the seventh grade. There were so many new faces and things were so different. I had a hard time making new friends and holding on to the old ones. It all seemed so confusing. We moved into a rented house in a small subdivision, across from the old elementary school. School let out and the work began. 

 It was during this busy summer and while living in the rented house, I became of age and began to experience one of life's processes. At first, I didn't understand the biological nature, and functions of my body. I didn't know this act could make me a slave for many years to come. I awoke in the middle of a wet dream and masturbated for the first time in my life. It was exciting and felt good. I had never experienced anything like it before. I continued to experiment and learn more about what was going on with my body. It wasn't until a few months later, I began to consider that this could be wrong. I had feelings I shouldn't be doing it. It wasn't until a couple of years later, I learned it had a name. By then, I was hooked. I didn't know what to do. I tried to quit for the first time and ended up spending the next 21 years trying to stop. I had formed a habit, and it seemed like I was always going to just do it one more time and then quit. Little did I know; Satan would just whisper in my head that one more time is all right. You can quit tomorrow. It's o.k., one more time won't matter. At this point, I often wish I could have gone to my father or mother and told them. But I was too embarrassed.

 Well, soon it was summer again and I had not quit. I was finding a new stimulation to go along with my habit. This was to be the forerunner of my pornography habit. One day I was thumbing through the Sears catalog and came to the women's underwear section; it really caught my attention. Seeing them stand there in their underwear was a marvelous turn on. Soon I began to masturbate while looking at these pictures. I began to hide the catalog in my room. One afternoon, I was engaged in my habit, and my older brother walked into the room. I was never so embarrassed in my life. I quickly stopped and tried to hide it, but he knew what was going on. He shamed me and ridiculed me. He became very angry with me. I didn't understand why he would be so mad. This experience only served to convince me to tell no one. I had a problem and didn't want to be yelled at because of it. I was more careful from that point on, never to get caught again.

 My confusion and frustration only began to deepen after that experience. I was determined to quit. But Satan would come again. He knew I was vulnerable and confused. I would lay in bed at night trying to go to sleep. Satan would come and not let me doze off. I would now begin to use my habit to go to sleep at night. All I had to do was to masturbate, and sleep would come immediately. I remember many nights lying in bed and wishing I had someone with whom I could talk. In my mind I would cry.

 In the tenth grade while at the neighbor's, playing, in the field behind their house, we found several porno magazines. The effect was tremendous, and I hid one of them away in the barn. I would go there and masturbate, looking at this magazine. I can to this day still see the pictures in my mind. When I was 16, I washed dishes at a restaurant. I would leave for work a little early, just so I could go to the store and look at the magazines in the racks. The true detective and confession magazines were the best. They would always have pictures of women half-dressed and I could never get enough. It seemed to be where I was headed, never to get enough. I visited with many church authorities and tried to get help over a period of twenty years. Finally, I found someone who could help. 

 The bishop we have now is a great man. I think one of the few who did understand and that is working to my benefit. We worked together on a job this summer for several days and had a lot of good conversation. My heart began to soften some more, in fact quite a bit. I began to feel his understanding and commitment to the gospel. It felt good to be around him. I finally realized that maybe he would understand my problem. I made an appointment and went to see him. I confessed my sins and we talked about them. Instead of the usual call to repentance, he told me how much he loved me and how impressed he was with me and my skills. He said he thought a lot about my family and what a sweet wife I had. He wanted me to put together some power scriptures and memorize them. Then, when I was discouraged, I could refer to them. He wanted me to read the book, The Worth of a Soul. He asked me to please not try to handle my sins on my own, but to call upon him for help whenever I needed to talk, even if it was in the middle of the night.

 Magical things started to happen after that interview. I went home and read The Worth of a Soul in a week. The book seemed to be the answer to my prayer. I didn't want to continue on and commit adultery. I wanted to stop now! I knew I never wanted to be excommunicated from the church. Most important of all, I took what I learned from my bishop and what I learned from the book. I found a way out of my sins. It was there all along, I just didn't understand it. Someone had to lead me to it. My problems were more than I could handle by myself. I would have continued on to the next step and then the next, until I would have lost my way permanently. Life being the way it is, it is more than any of us can handle alone.  But now I knew someone had cared enough to lead me to my answer. My answer was Jesus Christ. I had never learned to cast my burdens at his feet and really rely on the Lord. There it was! He was strong enough to handle my problems. He was strong enough to give me courage and strength.  

One night as I lay in bed, I couldn't sleep. I was troubled with things. My many problems would one by one come to mind and trouble me. It came to me that if I prayed in my mind as I lay in bed, I could give one by one my sins to Christ. I took a box. In my first box I placed my porno habit. I put into it all the magazines I ever purchased, all the videos I ever watched, all the dirty shows I had ever seen. I placed all this in the box. I put the lid on it and labeled it my porno habit. I then called upon Jesus to come and take this box of sin from me. He immediately came. I then took my masturbation habit and put it in another box, labelled it and gave it to the Savior. I then took my marriage problems and placed them in another box. One by one, I boxed up the things I could not handle by myself and gave them to Christ. He took them from me. I felt so good inside. I felt like I was taking the first step in turning my life over to him, my Savior and Redeemer. I awoke the next morning and felt great. I now had a partner—someone who was strong, wise, and understood me enough to take away my sins.

A few days later, I think Satan began to realize he was losing with me. He had had me for so long. He started to beat me up with his onslaught of suggestions and flashbacks. I became discouraged and depressed. It was Friday night. I was moping around cleaning out the shop, when all of a sudden, my bishop appeared. I almost cried. I knew why he was there. He had listened to the spirit and had

come to my rescue. By myself Satan would just beat me up, but there was my bishop. I could lean on him and be administered to. We went to his office, my wife and me. He gave me a priesthood blessing. I can't remember what was spoken, but by the end Satan had left. My depression was gone. I felt good inside. I then blessed my wife. For the first time, I really became an instrument in the Lord's hands. I have never given anyone a blessing like that. It wasn't me. It was Christ telling my wife what she could do to help me. And how happy he was that she had never fallen in all those years when I had tried to get her to. He told her he loved her and comforted her. He did this through me, and it felt great. She was greatly blessed by me and by my priesthood. That hadn't happened for a long time. I think she started to realize that the Lord was now going to bless her for having stayed with me through so many hard times.

 We started to talk. It was great! We talked about everything. Most importantly, we talked openly of my problems. Why I had started, why I couldn't stop. How I could now stop. We talked for hours. My heart was changing. I no longer had to do it by myself. I had the Savior to forgive me of my sins and felt a developing relationship with him. I had a bishop who cared and would continue to check up on me. I had a woman who loved me and also forgave me. I then began to see her for who she was, and how sweet and great a person she is. What a loss I would have suffered if I would have pushed her away for sins. 

 But then I became scared. A mighty change had occurred in my heart. I had made some great steps. But would or could it last? I started to doubt myself. What made me think I could do it this time, anyway? Satan was at work again. One night, I went to see my brother. We visited for a while. I told him of my struggles and how I held bad feelings for him. We visited in earnest for some time, and he helped me look inside myself and understand the root causes of my problem behavior. We tried to find out why I had my problem and what type of a hold Satan had on me. As we were finding these things out, he asked me to cast Satan out. To get rid of him, so I could be my true self. I couldn't do it. It surprised me, too! I just couldn't let them go. He told me all the reasons I should let go of Satan, and the spirits which were binding me down. I tried so hard to cast them out, but I couldn't. He begged me to exercise even a particle of faith and cast them out. He begged me to make the right choice, the one that was best for me. The one that would put me in control. So, I decided to do it. Once again, I didn't know if I could do it. I said, "I cast out these evil spirits in the name of Jesus Christ, that cause me to hang onto my habits, and I choose to do this." I almost got them out the first time I said this. I repeated it again, and they left. It felt good. I never realized a particle of faith could be so strong. I couldn't do it myself, but with my particle of faith, I was able to cast them out in the name of Jesus Christ. 

 Then we talked some more about my marriage, and how I had been the real problem all along. We talked about how I had rebelled against things. How I had pushed my wife. He told me to get rid of these feelings, to cast them out, to get rid of them, and I couldn't. I couldn't believe it would happen. I was trying to hang onto them also. He begged me to exercise my particle of faith again, to do it once more and get rid of these feelings caused by the unclean spirits. So, I said once again, "I exercise my particle of faith." I was tired of being the cause of my bad marriage. I was tired of rebelling, of not helping out around the house. I needed to do more with the kids. This was my choice; "I cast these evil spirits out that make me do these things, and I do this in the name of Jesus Christ."  (He was finally resisting sufficiently to take his agency and choice back.)

 The feelings of rebellion left. I had a great desire to help around the house. I was extremely exhausted. I know with important people on your side, you too can do it. You have probably come to realize you don't do it on your own. You can't. Exercise a particle of faith; even if you only have a particle of faith, and you can and will do it. You can be free of these binding influences, if you will choose the right, and rely on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

With his continuous help in ridding myself of the urges and feelings of the adversary, I am now controlling my life. I have come to the conclusion that I am tired of hurting the ones who love me the most. I desire to spend the rest of my life in making things right with my wife. Making up for lost time that we have wasted. To use the precious time the Lord has given us. I want to now help others and be of service. I know I have a long way to go. But now I have so much help. I know that Jesus Christ loves me. My bishop wants to help. My wife loves me and wants to help. I have a particle of faith. I pray this time, as the Lord works off my rough edges, that I will listen to him.’

 He’s fortunate, in that he’s getting control before he compounds these sins any further. Let’s be willing to come to Christ and be renewed. Here are the stories of two wives of husbands who have had this type of problem. The first is the wife of the author of the above story. The second is of another wife who consented to share her experiences and feelings.


From his wife:

 When asked to write down my feelings, I didn't think they were very important. But as I sat here thinking, I have come to understand they are. Tears of joy are running down my cheeks. For somehow, many years of prayers have been answered. My husband is a totally different person now. Every time we are together now, he keeps telling me how much he loves me. Our relationship has turned into the one I only thought about.

 Before I was married, I received a special witness. I was told I would marry my husband. It was hard for a young seventeen-year-old girl to believe. But I knew it was true. After we were married, we moved away. In the next several months [and in] many years to come, I would see my sweetheart begin to change. I had always heard and believed it was to be special. Sex was something that was tender, special, and done because you loved each other.

 Sex started to not be tender or special, after a while. It was more of a demand. He said he needed it. Soon, he would ask me to do things I felt wrong. I tried doing some to make him happy, but as soon as I gave in, the demands became something else. They would start becoming even a little dirtier each time. This cycle just seemed to go on. I did say no to things I just wouldn't allow.

 Dreams, of course, shattered. Marriage isn't like you pictured as a child. I can't really describe the hurt. I hurt so bad; I couldn't talk to anyone either. Who do you talk to about sex when your mother hates your husband? I loved my husband. I knew we were supposed to be together. I had been told so, but why would Heavenly Father want me to be used and hurt?

 Many times, after sex had taken place, he just rolled over to go to sleep. He hadn't even mentioned he loved me. It was more of a Wham bang, not even a thank-you. Several times, he even told me he didn't think he loved me anymore. There were many nights I just lay there and cried afterwards. This was what was special! After seven years of marriage, he told me about his problem. I didn't understand what it was about. Who wanted to do that to themselves? I did start to realize it wasn't all me. I had felt something was wrong with me. If you can't make your husband happy in bed, something has to be wrong with you. Right? Wrong! I can now see why I never enjoyed sex.

 Many times, he would call me a goodie-two-shoes. I have never tried to be this. I have tried to make my life one that my parents and Heavenly Father would love. Every time he would tell me he had been doing the masturbation again, it did hurt. I would think he wanted to make love to them, the girls in the magazines, not me. Why couldn't he come to me? Why couldn't he love me? Love me for the person I am! That was the one that hurt. Love me for who I am!

 As he has said, I finally had reached a point, I couldn't be hurt like this anymore. I did ask him to leave. At this point, we did go to see a marriage counselor. We have also seen several others, who have made turning the corner possible. We have seen a very special Bishop. One who knew what to do to help, also a special brother of his, one who was in tune with the spirit enough to give help. Things had come to the point, they had to change. If not, we had to divorce. There was no more reason to hurt each other. We were both hurting each other. The best thing is to quit the hurting. You hurt yourselves and your children when you don't realize it. Children love each parent and many times they are asked to choose between the two. They should never have to do that. 

 Many things have happened in our lives for the good. I realize I am normal. I can give love. He can also give that love now, too. We both want our marriage to survive. He is a good person with a lot to offer. We have some beautiful children together. They need us as a whole unit. And best of all, we have a lot to offer each other.

 If there is anything, I could say to help someone, it would be to stay close to your values. Get help from someone who can help you. One who is trained in this area. Try to help the one you love. Forgive when necessary. He really can be your dream. But, most important, LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!

 Could you feel the hurt of this wife as you read? Could you feel her joy in the fruits of repentance? It’s worth the price; any price! Are you willing to spend the time and exert the effort needed to improve your own life and help the ones you love?        

 One Saturday afternoon, just as I arrived home from a youth conference, a young man and his wife came to see me. His mother was a friend of mine and had suggested that they visit with me to see if I could assist them. He explained that he had been a drug addict for several years; in fact, an active user of cocaine and heroin. He had just been released from prison and wanted to quit and straighten out his life and be responsible for taking care of his wife and children. He had been through treatment programs four different times already, and after a time, had always given in to the drugs, as he put it.   

I explained in detail my view that the drugs were the end result of giving into the promptings, urges, and enticements of evil spirits. He listened as I suggested how he could come to some understanding of how this had happened to him. By pondering and by inducing a state of mind where he could recall the circumstances of when he first decided to use drugs, he could go through a process that would allow him to reevaluate that decision and redecide, this time making a correct choice, utilizing hypnotherapy. He was willing to cooperate as he was at a low point in his life and was looking for answers because none of the former things had worked.   In pondering, trance, or hypnosis, he went back in his mind and recalled being in a car at work with some associates. One of them pulled out a marijuana cigarette, lit it, and started passing it around. I asked him, as he remembered the details of this event, if he could hear two voices.    He asked, "What do you mean?"     I said, "Listen for one giving you thoughts and feelings that this is wrong, that you should get out of there and not be involved. Look for your real feelings in the situation."  I then asked, "What are you seeing, hearing, or feeling?"       

He replied, "Yes, I know it is wrong and all the feelings and voices as you mentioned are there."   "What is it saying to you?"   "It is saying, 'Remember who you are and what you have been taught and believe in.'"    Then I asked," Is there another voice there?"     He said, "Yes."   "What is it saying, prompting, and urging?"   

"It says, 'Go ahead, try it. You will like it!  Don't be chicken!  You want these people to like you, don't you?"        I asked him, "What did you decide to do?"    "I smoked the cigarette."   

I then had him view how this decision had developed the present behavior patterns, including the constant feelings, the craving for drugs. I asked, "Can you feel it now?"    

He said, "Yes, strongly."  

I then directed him to identify the evil spirit whose presence he felt. He was unable to do so at first. With some assistance, he eventually called it "PLEASURE."   

I asked, "In the decision to smoke that cigarette, did you take on this spirit which has had you seeking temporary pleasures and self-indulgences, blocking your perception of long-term happiness and joy?  Is this the deception, the lie, the false belief you have bought into which has given the adversary power with you for so long?"   

He broke down and started to cry as he could see clearly, for once, what had been happening to him. I taught him of the Savior and of repentance, re-decision, changing our minds and hearts, and turning to God. Upon questioning him as to whether he believed these things he said he did. I said, "Then cast this spirit of pleasure out!  In the name of Jesus Christ, command it to depart."

He did so, expressing that the desires and cravings were immediately gone also. I explained to him that if he were to get in a position where he decided to take drugs again, that the spirit would have power to return again and further compound his urges and situation.  

Later he did have more problems due to choosing the wrong friends, and he ended up re incarcerated, going through drug rehabilitation for the fifth time. He writes from prison:  "I thought I'd write you a letter and say Thank You, for all you've done to try and help me... All I do all day is read the Bible. It is the first time in my life I've ever read it, and I love it. I honestly think I've found a new life in it. I read John and it was the most touching, neatest thing I've ever read. I got a high like I've never had before from reading it. I'm turning my life over to God. I love him. I know he has been with me all along. Today I was reading Mark 1:25-27 and it talked about Jesus casting out evil spirits... 'And Jesus rebuked him, saying, hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the unclean spirit had torn him, and cried with a loud voice, he came out of him. And, they were all amazed, insomuch that they questioned among themselves, saying, ‘What thing is this?  What new doctrine is this?  for with authority commandeth he even the unclean spirits, and they do obey him.'  I wished I'd only known two years ago what I know now. I hope I can talk to you again soon. I have so much I would like to say. Thank you so much for everything."   I visited with this young man at the prison many times until he knew what to do to keep himself free. I believe this time this young man will make it. He alone is responsible for his choices, but at least now he is aware of the true enemy. It is pretty hard to win a fight when you don't even understand who or what it is you are up against. That is the way Satan wants it. It is called, Lies, Trickery, and Deceptions.  

Lead others to Christ and assist them through your faith, love, and prayers. There is hope for anyone who wants to change and be free from these things, but to do it, they must come to a full understanding and acceptance of these truths. In the words of the Savior: ‘And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.’ (New Testament | John 8:32)   The prophet Nephi had this vision of our day:  

 19  For the kingdom of the devil must shake, and they which belong to it must needs be stirred up unto repentance, or the devil will grasp them with

his everlasting chains, and they be stirred up to anger, and perish;  20   For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men and stir them up to anger against that which is good.  21  And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: all is well in Zion; yea Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.  22  And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance. (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 28:19-22)

 24 keep all the commandments and covenants by which ye are bound; and I will cause the heavens to shake for your good, and Satan shall tremble and Zion shall rejoice on the hills and flourish;…  (D&C 35:24)   


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