Young Adult W.:
I am a young adult who has suffered from an addiction to pornography for more than half of my life. During that time, I have tried what seems like just about every method ever conceived to overcome this sickness. I had reached the point where, even though I still believed it to be wrong, I simply accepted it as something that I would be stuck with for the rest of my life. There was no getting around it. No getting away from it. It would just be with me for the rest of my life. There were times where I would try to make myself feel better by telling myself that eventually something life-changing would happen, such as getting married, that would simply flip a switch in my brain and make it all stop once and for all. Other times, I would allow myself to be engulfed in doubt and fear until I gave up hope and decided that I would continue to senselessly live my life, forever limited by my addiction. I actually began to believe that I simply could not choose anymore. The way I am is the way I will always be, and I cannot change that.
When I first heard about hypnotherapy, I was told that it had unusually high success rates, but with how doubtful I was about everything in my life at this point, it was really just curiosity that pushed me to try it out. It definitely didn’t sound like anything else I had ever tried before. Who wouldn’t want to try something that sounds as crazy as “hypnotherapy”, even if it’s just to see what the heck it even is? I was willing to try it, but I was also prepared and ready to drop it just as quickly as I had decided to pick it up.
From the first session to the last, the things that I learned with hypnotherapy were mind-blowing and life-changing. I like to look at hypnotherapy as a way to efficiently and quickly clear your mind. I have learned that a truly clear mind is really the only thing that anyone could ever want in this world, and there are so many people out there who are trying to obtain it the wrong way, and only harming themselves in the end.
Hypnotherapy has helped me come to know myself more. It was surprising to realize just how little I really knew about who I am when I first started. Now, I am much more aware of how I react to different feelings and situations. If this happens, I know that is how I am going to feel. If that happens, I know this is how I am going to feel. If I choose to do this, I know that it will cause me to do that. Before, I never recognized all these simple little things that made such a big difference in my life. They were things so simple and straightforward that it made me wonder how the heck I never recognized them in the first place. It’s as if I was trying to dig a hole with my bare hands the whole time, when all along, I could have been using a shovel.
As I began to gain more of a clear mind and came to know myself more, I also began to realize that my addiction had caused me to see things, and understand them, wrongfully. I did not see things the way that they really were. I did not understand things correctly. Where other people saw yellow, I saw blue. When they would see red, I would see green. Where others would feel happiness and excitement, I felt doubt and fear. In the very same situation that would make one feel confident and assured, I somehow allowed myself to feel insecure and lonely. Others who did not have this dark shroud over them saw things as they really were. They saw this life, from moment to moment, as what it really is: an endless opportunity to change. An opportunity to make our craziest, happiest dreams become a reality. Every day is an opportunity to get one step closer to whatever it is that we want to become. And then there was me, still stuck staring at a yellow wall, swearing to myself that it was actually blue. Hypnotherapy enabled me to once again be able to see the truth of all things. I did not trick myself or allow other influences to trick me into denying the truth anymore. I accepted the truth and embraced it, and as I did so, the truth set me free.
When I began to recognize the truth and accept it, power flooded into my life. I was able to discern where my thoughts and feelings came from. I could actually differentiate between right and wrong with no hesitance. The greatest thing that I gained from hypnotherapy was my agency. For so long I had allowed myself to believe that I didn’t have a choice. I was like a rag doll, allowing myself to be freely tossed back and forth by whatever influences entered my life. I had accepted my addiction as who I was and no longer fought against it. It would throw me around and beat me up as it pleased. I didn’t even realize this was happening in my life until I was engaged in hypnotherapy. With my clear mind and recognition of the truth, I learned the ultimate truth of it all. That is that I was in total control of the situation all along. At any moment, I could have chosen to stop the chaos that was going on in my life and become something greater.
And so I did. Just as simply and quickly as you can make the decision to literally lift a finger, I made the decision to put a stop to what was happening in my life. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Hypnotherapy worked! Now, I never have a moment in my life where I don’t feel like I’m in control. I am always in control and I have total power over every decision that I am faced with. With hypnotherapy, I have realized that there are no limits, only the ones that you make. We all have the power to either choose to let this life discourage and limit us, or we can choose to take control, make the most of it, and reach our full, divine potential.
LDS Missionary Elder:
Comments from an LDS Missionary Elder currently serving in the mission field, who has had constant self-abuse issues for many years and was still experiencing the problem. We did some sessions over SKYPE. He is fully on track and has his temple recommend again:
Hello Brother Parker, the last couple weeks have been absolutely amazing, I have been doing very well and remain true to my covenants, in fact I get my recommend back tomorrow.
I have been transferred to a new area, I am now up in ____________, and it’s really beautiful here by the coast. There are a lot of people here and we have already been able to build up our teaching pool. The work is going very well, we have a baptism scheduled for the 28th, and the ward has been very supportive.
I am really appreciative of the help that I received from our sessions, your book, and CD. I have struggled with my issue for a long time and am now relived to have effective strategies to fight back against the temptations of the adversary. At first I wasn't so sure how hypnotherapy would help me but I quickly learned that this was going to help me a lot with what I was going through and will also help me with later issues in my life.
It took a few weeks to understand and practice the Mind Management techniques, but once I got the hang of things and understood how to handle the situation I was able to put aside and control my old habits. Honestly though, I feel so much better now because I have so much more control over who I am, and what I desire to be. I am much more confident and very pleased with my way of life. It has been an amazing blessing! I know I will continue to read over what I have been taught so it stays fresh in my mind.
I'll keep in touch,
For over ten years I had struggled with a deep addiction to pornography and masturbation. I tried everything to stop, but nothing seemed to work for me. I had gone to see so many therapists and counselors, but they were of no help what so ever. Although some of the strategies they gave me would provide me with temporary relief, it wouldn’t be long before I would relapse again. So after many years of trying to overcome this awful addiction and failing each time, I decided to just simply give up. I knew that relapse was inevitable so why waste so much time, energy, and money if all it’s going to do is set me up for failure? That saying, “once an addict, always an addict” really resonated with me. I believed that I was going to carry this addiction to the grave, or so I thought.
Then I met Dennis Parker, who for the first time ever gave me hope that I could change. But I’ll admit that at first I was very skeptical. I wasn’t sure that hypnosis would work for me. I had never heard of hypnosis as being method to treat addictions. I didn’t actually believe in it to be honest. I believed it was all superstition. The idea seemed so foreign and even mythical to me. I remembered all seeing movies of people undergoing hypnosis and how bizarre and scary it was. But I figured why not give it a try. I mean what do I have to lose? I have tried everything else.
My first appointment with Dennis went very well. He told me that if I apply his methods and teachings that I WILL never look at porn again, or even have the desire to. I thought it was too good to be true. I had been told this many times before. He told me to listen to the CD every night before I go to bed. So I did that. I listened to the CD for the first time and it was AMAZING. After one time of listening to it, I was already noticing a huge difference. My confidence and desire to change grew significantly. I’ve now been listening to it every night for the last three months and I don’t know what I would do without it. The CD and Dennis’s teachings have helped me more than all of the therapists and other programs combined! My friends and family have noticed a big change in me. They have told me that I seem a lot happier; I’m smiling more; I’m not as negative about things. I know a lot of this is because of the CD. I’m not exactly sure how it works, but it does! It may seem a little awkward at first, but just do it and trust me you will see great results immediately.
I’m now on my way to becoming completely free of this addiction, which I don’t see as an addiction anymore, and that is something that Dennis has taught me. He told me that it’s just a result of “stinking thinking” that I have developed over the years. Knowing this has really made all the difference. I hope that more people can utilize Dennis’s teachings.
A middle aged father of four:
To start at the lowest point, I was completely without hope… I had a plan in mind of how to end my life. It would have been easy, accidental looking, with even a feeling that, “He died doing something he loved!” There would have been plenty of insurance money for the kids and wife, I would finally be able to rest from the affliction of pornography and its accompanying ills that hounded me and held me captive for 25 years of my 32 year existence here. While it wasn’t the only reason, pornography was among the biggest contributors to the other two huge problems staring me in the face that I couldn’t resolve; I was in a marriage that was a disaster despite my best efforts, and a business that was crumbling after years of giving it the best I knew how. I felt like my inability to keep pornography in check was the reason my business and marriage were in such desperate straits; I felt like a complete failure!
Except for the day described above I always knew deep within me I was not meant to live like this; I had a higher purpose. I just never knew when I would get through it and I never would have believed how. I am a father of 4 young children, who had tried desperately for decades to make my actions conform to my beliefs.
I hated what I did. I could never figure out why part of me wanted something so intensely that the rest of me hated and punished myself for constantly. I sought help in 12 step groups for years. I counseled with every ecclesiastical leader who had stewardship over me from the time I was about 13. I was more prayerful and studious than 99 percent of people my age. I attended seminary in my teenage years with enough consistency and extra study to letter in seminary. I attended Institute of Religion courses for four years of college, waking up early or staying up late to excel in religion courses as well as in my career studies to graduate summa cum laude from college and with honors from the Institute of Religion.
Outside of religious education I served as a leader in church programs, boy scouting, and FFA club during high school and after high school. I was always asked to lead others when I served a religious mission for 24 months on the other side of the world (as the 12 steppers would say, “I white knuckled it for that entire duration), and when I came home I was unable to maintain abstinence from this dreadful habit. It seemed that the minority of my desires was ruling over the majority. I abstained for nearly a year while I courted and started a marriage, but returned to the dreadful practice after being injured and laid up for several months early in our time together. I again counseled with ecclesiastical leaders and found strength to abstain for 18 months even when my wife refused to be intimate with me for months and even for over a year at a time.
At year 4 or 5 we sought professional help with one therapist who was supposed to be the best at treating pornography “addiction.” I experienced little or no progress in the three or four times I met with him. At year 6 we were referred to a therapist who, we found on good authority, was the very best in our area. He focused intensely on true principles of life and helped me truly believe that pornography is not an addiction but a reinforced habit. I learned later that what reinforced my habit was not at all what I believed it was. Through his counsel I was able to understand all the whys and why not’s and I had nearly a year without incident, but there were close calls and a lot of white knuckling. Part of me still wanted the porn so badly. I spent thousands with this great counselor who helped us make great strides forward as a couple and individually. After my lowest point I tried to go on anti-depressants to get me in a better place and relieve me from the temptations to view pornography. I tried three different medications, all of which made me worse to the point I felt like my brain was burning and all I could do was lay in bed twitching from medication side effects. I still couldn’t be free from this constant temptation.
I blamed my seemingly unconquerable desire for pornography on an early exposure at age 7. I used to believe that the exposure lead to heightened curiosity and lead me to view a lot of pornography over the subsequent years.
I always had the feeling there was something that needed to be unlocked, or unwound back to my childhood that contained the root of this desire. Until I experienced that first hypnotherapy session I didn’t think it was possible to even remember what this was, indeed many told me to just move on, that I would never be able to recall what it was that started this in me. I believed them and tried to move forward without fixing the past.
I was so scared to try hypnotherapy. I thought of the stage performers I had seen, I wondered if I would be looked down upon by my ecclesiastical leaders, I was scared of what I would say if I wasn’t in control of my mind, and perhaps the greatest fear was that it all sounded too good to be true another failed attempt waiting to happen.
I had nothing to lose, my wife had decided to divorce me by this time. I was truly seeking to solve my own problems and fix me so I could move on and be rid of the prison cell of pornography that I kept choosing.
In my first hypnotherapy session (I really didn’t believe that I was even hypnotized at the beginning because it felt so natural) one of the first instances that came out of the session were a couple of memories I had of stealing toys when I was 7 years old. I learned that I had decided to never trust myself because of those actions. I believed the lie that I simply could not be trusted. I found through hypnotherapy that this lie was what was reinforcing my habit of pornography indulgence. As Dennis guided me through the process of learning the lessons I was supposed to learn from those experiences, and making proper restitution for my actions, my desire to view pornography immediately diminished. I became more and more single minded.
In visit after visit more and more layers were removed to clear up lies and misunderstandings I had kept deep inside my mind from my earliest years and even very recent times. Perhaps the most important insight came when during a session Dennis pointed out that the enemy of our happiness speaks to us in the first person to make us believe it is us who wants to do what is contrary to what we know is right and good. That principle has been as a shield to my mind against negative thinking.
I highly recommend you give this process a chance. It will change your life. You have nothing to fear inside your own mind; you have everything to gain from becoming a unified whole person. I worried at times that this would impact my faith negatively, I have found that I have never been more faithful, optimistic, and hopeful. When I think back on that dark day when I lost all hope and nearly sought to end my life, I see those dark hours served to get me to a place that I could overcome my fears of trying something very different and for me that was hypnotherapy.
Dr. Jerry Redd, Ph.D., CMHC:
To Whom It May Concern:
Our clinic, Solace Emotional Health, provides mental health therapy for sexual addiction, marital quality, and ancillary symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trauma. Our therapeutic approach with these issues consists of 2 layers: (1) helping the patient develop critical skills to manage emotional surges (rather than being managed by them); and (2) to address the emotional and cognitive undercurrents that often undergird dysfunctional and unwanted behaviors. However, if a troubling or traumatic experience has been repressed, forgotten, or imbedded deeply into a patient’s subconscious, it can be difficult and very time consuming to identify and dissolve the dilemma.
We have found that Dennis Parker’s hypnotherapy, combined with his unique “Spiritual Mind Management” program, quickly identifies unconscious emotional undercurrents, skillfully desensitizes them, and adds an extra layer of emotional management, that provides confidence and permanence to patient’s recovery efforts.
Recently, Dennis worked with one of our patients that had been diligent in daily recovery efforts for several months, but had not been able to sustain his sexual addiction sobriety for longer than a week. In just 2 sessions of hypnotherapy, Dennis helped this patient identify a deeply buried issue, desensitized it, and instructed the patient how to better manage unwanted thoughts, memories, and emotions. To date, this patient has not had a relapse.
Another acquaintance stopped by our clinic, suffering with night terrors and unbearable cravings to relapse (after almost 2 years of sobriety). She had been given the financial approval for 8 sessions at another agency. She agreed to meet with Dennis Parker for a session or two, in an attempt to identify a specific issue to work on, thereby accelerating the effectiveness of her pre-approved therapy program. She had one session with Dennis Parker. In a follow-up phone call, she said, “the nightmares and craving are gone. They haven’t returned. At this point, I don’t think I will need any more therapy.”
Dennis Parker is skillful, effective, and extremely efficient in his hypnotherapy and “Spiritual Mind-Management” approach.
Dr. Jerry Redd, Ph.D., CMHC
Solace Emotional Health
Client C. T.:
My Journey Through Mind Management and Hypnotherapy
My son came to me sobbing intensely, after being in therapy weekly for about a year, he proceeded to tell me that pornography was ruining his life, it was taking over his life. He was suicidal and so terribly unhappy. I talked to his therapist and he felt he needed something more powerful. I told him, “I’d do anything for my son what do I need to do.” This is when we went to see Dennis Parker.
My son and I were both very skeptical and didn’t really understand what hypnotherapy meant. Dennis soon taught us about mind management. This is it! Mind management is what he needs. I needed to learn more about mind management too. Everything that comes up in life we get to choose how to handle it. Yes, we might have an addiction, but we have to stop and Be Present when making a choice and then really concentrate on consciously making the right choice for ourselves. After my experience with Dennis Parker a big chunk of what hypnotherapy now means to me is mind management and dealing with things that have happened in the past. We must learn from these experiences and then focus on moving forward.
The first thing that my son and I learned is that he and I are Normal. The thoughts, feelings, worries, anxieties, or depression, and so on that, He or I might experience are what others experience also, at one point or another in our lives. What is not normal is allowing these thoughts, feelings, worries, anxieties, or depression, and so on to start taking over our lives so that we are unable to live our lives and be happy. The second thing I learned was about how we talk to ourselves, because consciously when we talk to ourselves we don’t know it but it subconsciously is burned into our habits. We need to always talk nice to ourselves. Third, I learned how wonderful affirmations are. Write down what you want and then change it to what you already are, for example: I want to be happy. –Changes to- I am happy. Make an affirmations list and read it five times in a row and do this four or five times a day, to reprogram your brain. You will instantly feel like a weight has been lifted. This list is always changing according to your needs.
There is so much more that I learned, but these are my top three. Another experience that we had with Dennis that really opened my eyes was when my son during a hypnotherapy session discovered why he had felt so emotionally needy. My son's dad and I were divorced when he was four. The thoughts I had during this time were what is wrong with me?, Why am I not good enough, pretty enough?, Why am I not loveable?, Why did he leave me?, It is my fault., and so on. Every possible negative, destructive feeling and thought I could have, I did have. I was thirty-six years old at the time. What I didn’t realize was that, I was processing all of this pain at the age of 36, but he was trying to process the same pain and thoughts at the age of 4. He had all the same insecurities and destructive thoughts in his sweet little four year old person, and had still been living with them all these years. This realization was excruciatingly painful, no matter what an amazing mom I tried to be and how much love he got from me he still needed to heal.
This experience from when he was little has influenced his thinking about himself in destructive ways. He had so much anxiety about never being loved by a girlfriend, and never being married, or having children, that he turned to video games and pornography which in turn made him more depressed, and suicidal. His negative, obsessive thoughts just took over and he was on a continuous spiral downward. Now that he has been able to acknowledge these feelings he can let responsibility lie where it needs to and he can move forward and take responsibility for what lies ahead.
Today my son has a girlfriend, who loves him, and he loves her. She accepts him for who he is. I don’t know if this is the girl that he will choose to be with for the rest of his life, but he knows that he will be ok. At times he still struggles with things, as he climbs the ladder of life he takes step back once in a while, but the most amazing thing is that he is making progress even if it is just a little progress at a time. He is DOING not just Trying! He will have to work hard and be mindful, and present everyday of his life, but know he has hope. I will always be indebted to Dennis and forever grateful for helping my son get his life back.
Bishop Kyle Naylor:
- "I've been to various counselors over the past 30 years looking for solutions and healing for several childhood traumas that have been life altering. It seemed like I was sentenced to drag around this "dead wood" for the rest of my life. Through the recommendation of my Bishop and Stake President I met with Dennis Parker. My understanding of hypnotherapy was extremely limited. I soon learned that this method is actually something that could heal and resolve my early traumas. These early childhood events had caused me to become "derailed" in my thought processes about myself and others. As I identified these issues, they began to fill in the puzzle pieces as to my personal belief system that dominated my thought processes and actions. It was an incredible experienced to understand how truth can set you free. The process of discovering how my thoughts generate feelings, our imagination will amplify these feelings, and then we act them out has been life changing for me. For the first time in my life I feel healthy, whole and ready to look forward down my path rather than behind. The mind chatter that dragged me down all day long is finally silenced. I have the power to keep myself living in the present and not the past. I have the power to be happy, loving, kind, empathetic, and generous any time I need to be. I have better clarity, purpose, and a healthy belief system of myself. I'm learning techniques that will reinforce my "Belief filter system" to protect myself from lies and misconceptions. In each therapy session I felt in complete control of my memories, and ability to navigate the process of healing them. This is the first time in my life that I actually feel free from my crippled perceptions of myself and others. I'm finally able to love with all my heart, because my heart no longer hurts. I completely recommend this type of therapy for anyone."
- Ward Relief Society President - P
- As a bishop counseling with individuals who are battling various behavioral problems, having a resource like Dennis Parker has been a real blessing. From couples trying to make changes for the survival of their marriage, to individuals trying to break free of addictive habits, Dennis has been able to provide an approach to their problems through hypnotherapy that has proven to be both effective and timely. Positive results have come quickly as these individuals have applied the skills they are taught for making difficult changes in their lives. Dennis recognizes the need to couple his techniques with the spiritual counsel for which I am responsible, as we work together to assist these people in overcoming their challenges. I am very grateful for the skill, insights, and sensitivity with which Dennis helps me bless the members of my ward who stand in need of a little extra help from time to time.
Bishop Kyle Naylor
Centerville, Utah Canyon Ward
- For more than fifty years as an attorney, an elected public official, and as Chairman of The Lighted Candle Society I have been actively involved in the battle against pornography. I am frequently asked to recommend to parents and ecclesiastical leaders a therapist that I am confident could assist a loved one who has become involved with pornography, become free of its influence and effects. I know many therapists who are well trained and extremely competent. Dennis Parker is the only therapist that I know that has consistently been able to teach a victim of dependency upon sexually explicit materials new mental skills, as tools, that work consistently to desensitize the temptations to be involved in such things. The most important result of Dennis Parker’s therapy is his ability to train the victim on how to overcome the temptation to return to involvement with obscenity.
John Harmer, Chairman
Lighten Candle Society
Through my service as a Bishop and Stake President the past several years I have counseled with hundreds of people dealing with marital, parental, suicidal, depression, self-esteem, and separation anxiety challenges. The number of those battling pornography and numerous other addictive behaviors continue to escalate.
My efforts to assist the good people struggling with these difficulties have often included referrals to scores of different counselors and therapists. Unfortunately, after attending numerous counseling sessions and incurring a great deal of financial expense, a substantial percentage of the individuals referred for counseling have not overcome their problems, are still grappling with their addictions and remain dependent upon their counselors.
After being introduced to Dennis Parker I carefully studied his character and counseling procedures and then began referring people to his practice. The feedback and results from those I have referred to Dennis, along with many other individuals who have been referred by my fellow church leaders have been superb. Dennis’ counseling techniques rapidly identify the root problems, teach very effective tools, instill personal accountability and typically resolve the issues in 2-4 visits. His methods are honest, spiritually rooted, fast and economical. He has assisted those I have referred to preserve their marriages, overcome their emotional challenges and conquer their addictions. A rapidly growing group of my young men and women are now serving successful LDS missions that would not otherwise have been able to do so without Dennis’ counseling.
I recommend Dennis Parker, without reservation and would be happy to provide additional information regarding my experiences regarding his results to any who would care to contact me.
John Hollingshead, President
Centerville, Utah South Stake